How to deal with homework problems
If your child's homework stresses you, you're not alone. A survey of 2,000 parents found that 34% of parents of primary school children and 44% of parents of secondary school children felt they could not help with their child's homework. At the same time, according to National Numeracy, 23% of parents say that having to help with their child's Maths homework makes them feel anxious, and 1 in 5 parents say Maths homework has caused arguments at home between them and their child. If you're looking for ways to deal with these problems, we can help.
Home vs homework
Most children don't like the thought of homework. This is partly because many feel mentally exhausted after a long school day or week. Homework adds to that fatigue, making it harder for them to focus or be motivated. Mix in parental pressure, and many rebel and resist.
The trouble is it's hard for kids to focus when at home. When your child is in school, they're in a classroom with rules, boundaries, and limited distractions. The learning is also structured and organised, and all their friends are focused on the same thing.
When your child comes home, their brain clicks over to "home" mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, and play video games. Not a place to do schoolwork.
Solution: Create a homework space and routine
Establish a regular time and place for homework with your child. Ensure the area is quiet and free from distractions to help your child focus. Younger children can help make this area their own space, so they feel it's somewhere they want to be. With older children agree a daily time that signals to them that homework needs to be done. To help them feel they have a choice, offer an option within a choice, for instance, after dinner but before 9 pm.
Anxiety
Anxiety is another reason some children refuse to do homework. When a child feels anxious about homework, it often means they're stressed or worried about their schoolwork. This anxiety can stem from various factors, such as a fear of failure, not meeting expectations, or feeling pressure to perform perfectly. If the homework load is too heavy or complicated, your child might simply feel overwhelmed.
Bear in mind that anxiety around homework can manifest itself in a variety of ways. A child might become easily frustrated, angry, or upset when it's time to do homework, cause an argument or put forward a range of delaying tactics such as losing their school books or refusing to do what you ask.
Solution: Talk to them
If your child is anxious about homework, it's essential to identify the root cause of their anxiety and provide support. Start by talking to them about their feelings and behaviour around homework rather than the work. This might involve breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, helping them understand the material, or simply offering reassurance and encouragement that they can do it. If the anxiety stems from the classroom, talk to their teacher and see what extra support can be provided.
Procrastination
If your child struggles with procrastination or feels unsure of how to start or complete their homework assignments, time management and organisational skills may be behind their reluctance.
If a child doesn't fully grasp the material, they may fear doing their homework or asking for help and feel embarrassed about not understanding, which can exacerbate their procrastination.
Plus, homework can feel frustrating if a child struggles to understand the material. Without a teacher's help, they might feel stuck or unsure how to complete it, leading to avoidance.
The solution: Help them with time management
Time management helps your child prioritise tasks and manage their time effectively. Use tools like planners or apps to track assignments and deadlines, teaching them to break up work over several days rather than waiting until the last minute. Also, show them to break down more significant assignments into smaller, manageable tasks, as setting short-term goals can make their work feel less daunting. Finally, while it's important not to do the homework for them, being available to answer questions or explain concepts can help reduce their frustration.
Perfectionism
Children who set very high standards for themselves may experience homework anxiety if they feel they can't complete their homework perfectly. Expectations from parents, teachers, or peers can contribute to this anxiety. Plus, if a child senses that a lot is riding on their academic performance, their perfectionism can hinder their ability to work and may appear as procrastination.
The solution: Define success
Help your child set reasonable goals and understand that not everything needs to be perfect. Work together to redefine success in broader terms. Try to normalise imperfection and demonstrate resilience. Above all, avoid comments that could reinforce their need for perfection and instead foster an environment where trying and learning are more important than always getting things right.
Not understanding the work
Trying to tackle homework without clearly understanding the work can be emotionally overwhelming. When this occurs, kids may experience stress, frustration, or even anger, making it harder to focus on the assignment. Struggling with material they haven't grasped in class can quickly lead to demotivation over homework.
Solution: Seek help
If your child is struggling with homework, reach out to their teacher. Understanding what's happening in class and getting additional resources or support (in class) can help you assist your child at home. If you feel your child needs more than this, a tutor can offer a bespoke approach tailored to your child. Working one-on-one with someone can help combat everything from anxiety to perfectionism, as well as subject understanding.
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